Learning To Say No On Campus

(By: Beverly Kandovazui)

Learning to say no is hard for some students due to a combination of intense social pressure. Some students have the desire to be accepted in a new environment that is often stressful. The fear of missing out on new trends and wanting to be known. Students fear that saying no will have them excluded from future peer events.

Sometimes it’s the fear of conflict, so they say yes to avoid awkward confrontation. Saying yes to the wrong friends: Saying yes as a student to the wrong friends has a profoundly negative impact on a student’s well-being, as well as on their academic performance. It reduces goals and engagement and lowers aspirations.

It makes them adopt harmful attitudes that cause long-term damage to mental health because every time they have to say yes to the wrong things, even though they know it’s wrong, just because they don’t want to be left out, and all that leads to low self-esteem, long term health issues, and illegal issues and behaviours.

Healthy ways to say no: Know that you can say no without damaging your relationships by being direct, kind, and timely rather than giving excuses. Use honest phrases and do not be rude; give an undoubtedly reply without hurting the other person’s feelings.

By saying no in a polite way without having to justify it. Identify your limits by understanding your own personal, social, and academic comfort zones. Learn to plan by knowing what to say if specific situations arise, and focus on personal feelings rather than blaming, which reduces conflict. Take a step back and learn to be your own friend for a while without thinking of anyone, and pay attention to how they feel.

They should always reassure themselves that the end of a relationship is not a failure but the beginning of something new and better, with an exciting journey ahead that comes with many lessons that will build them.

Beverly Kandovazu is the Student Representative Council (SRC) Secretary General at River Higher Institute of Technology